2. Tact. The second secret of dealing with a superior successfully is tact. We speak about tact often. Yet more often we fail to exercise it. We think that it is more needful to “speak our mind,” Notice how tactful Nehemiah was with Artaxerxes.
First, when the king asked why he was sad, Nehemiah answered with a disarming question and not defensively. Many of us would have said, “I’ll tell you why I’m sad. Thirteen years ago a delegation of Jews went to Jerusalem. They tried to carry out the decree of your predecessor Cyrus to rebuild the temple and walls. But as soon as the governors of Trans-Euphrates heard about it and appealed to you to have the work stopped, you stopped it, and you didn’t even wait to hear the other side of the story. You couldn’t see that these governors were simply jealous of us and were afraid that a revitalized Jerusalem would be detrimental to their interests.”
Many of us would have replied along those lines. But although our reply may have made us feel better, we would have experienced the failure such an arrogant attitude deserves. The king would have become defensive, and our cause would have been lost. Instead of this, Nehemiah asked, “Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?” (v. 3). This question, instead of making Artaxerxes defensive, actually won him to Nehemiah’s side. The king understood and wanted to help him.
Second, Nehemiah presented his desire as a personal matter and not as a political one. He knew that what he wanted would require the reversal of Artaxerxes’ former public policy (Ezra 4:7-23), and he understood that any request to fortify a city was suspicious. He treated it as a matter for personal grief which the king, who was proud of his own city and who also had his own ancestors, would understand.
Third, it is worth noting that although Nehemiah asked for permission to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem he nowhere actually mentions Jerusalem by name. He refers to it as “the city where my fathers are buried” (v. 3) and “the city in Judah” (v. 5). It is a simple point but a good one. As Dale Carnegie expressed it, “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”1
3. Honesty. To be tactful does not mean that one is to be insincere, however. The third secret of middle management success is honesty. Nehemiah exhibited honesty in his encounter with the king in two ways. First, when the king asked why he was sad he replied with two absolutely accurate statements, one directed to the reader (in the narrative) and the other to the king. To the reader he admits, “I was very much afraid” (v. 2). No false bravado here. To the king he replied that he was sad because the city of his fathers was in ruins (v. 3). We know this is what was really bothering Nehemiah because in the chapter before this, when he was first told about the city’s condition, Nehemiah “sat down and wept . . . mourned and prayed before the God of heaven” (Neh. 1:4). It is a wonder that he was able to keep his sadness hidden for so long. (There is a passing of four or five months between the time he heard the news and the time the king addressed him.) Nevertheless, when he was asked the reason for his sadness he was honest. He did not try to invent a more acceptable reason for it.
Second, when the king asked what he wanted he told him. He did not pretend that he wanted to take a vacation to Jerusalem or merely look the city over. From the first he told the king he wanted to rebuild it.
This is very important. A good leader is willing to have those who work under him develop their own programs. He wants this if he really is a good leader. But he does not want to be surprised by the plans of subordinates, and understandably so. Subordinates quite properly want their own plans to succeed. But the boss is responsible not merely for the subordinate’s plan but for the success of the entire operation. So he needs to know what is going on and be able to approve, disapprove or redirect those plans according to the larger picture. Here is a secret: If you want to succeed with your boss, don’t surprise him. Be creative, but be sure he is with you as you plow along.
1Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1963), 19.
