The second category of problems that he deals with are those involving separation. Whereas Paul talks about marriage as good, separation is something that is bad, though there are times when it may be necessary. In verses 10 and 11 we read, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
Paul talks very explicitly in the next paragraph about divorce, where he pronounces very strongly on it. But I think when he talks about separation here in verses 10 and 11, he is talking about something else. Such separation may lead to divorce, which is why he adds the part that there must not be divorce. Separation is bad, but Paul is not necessarily saying that it can never happen. Sometimes there are situations where separation, perhaps for a time, becomes necessary. For example, there are situations where a wife is married to a drunken brute of a husband, and her physical life is in danger (as well as that of their children). Paul might say in that kind of situation that a separation might be necessary for the safety of the other family members. Yet, Paul says that if a separation becomes absolutely necessary, the wife is to remain unmarried or else, by the grace of God, in time be reconciled to her husband.
As in our own age, Paul is dealing with what is quite obviously the fruit of sin in human life; but he operates in an entirely different world of thought than that which characterizes our world today. People now say, “Well, you know, if things don’t work, you can just break it off and start again. Nobody can expect perfection, least of all in marriage. So if a marriage isn’t everything you want it to be, you can just end it.” Paul is entirely on the other side of that. He knows that because of sin, a separation may become inevitable, as terrible as that is.
But if you are a Christian, and therefore living by the standards of God, then your alternative at that point is not remarriage to someone else, but either reconciliation to your spouse from whom you are separated or else remaining unmarried for the rest of your life. To our contemporary culture, and perhaps even in the contemporary church, that sounds harsh. People might respond by saying that this approach is impossible. Nobody could possibly live that way. The answer to that is that if you are a Christian, God will give you the grace to do what He tells you to do.
Paul brings in another matter at this point when he begins to talk about divorce. Three times in this section he says that you must not divorce. The husband must not divorce his wife, and the wife must not divorce her husband. Someone at this point may be wondering what this means for the Christian who is married to a non-Christian. Everyone who is taught about a Christian view of marriage knows that it is to be a union in the Lord—involving a union of each other’s bodies, souls, minds, and spirits. Marriage is thus profoundly spiritual, which of course can only be true if both parties are Christians.
Suppose you have a husband who is a Christian and a wife who is not, or the other way around. Would it not be proper in that kind of a circumstance for the Christian to divorce the non-Christian in order that they might establish a true, beautiful, spiritual Christian home? You would almost think that Paul would be inclined to say that. And yet, Paul’s teaching on this point could not be more emphatic. He writes that if one spouse is a Christian and the other is not, the Christian must not divorce the other. There are different reasons that he gives. One is the matter of the children. They are set apart to the Lord in the home even if there is only one Christian parent. Another reason is that by remaining married the Christian spouse might be the means of reaching the non-Christian spouse. God has called the couple to a life of peace, not disunity.
